it comes with the pain…

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We have all been through things that have made us believe that it cannot get worse than it is. It has made us turn away from those we love, it also has brought us closer to those who have been there from the start.  It may have been physical pain, it may have been emotional hurt, and it may have been a combination of the two. Whatever it was, it shook us up and it broke us down.  Something that I have come to learn is, with every up there is a down. But, it goes the other way too. With every down there is an up.  In order to get back up it takes strength. It takes perseverance, and trust me when I tell you, it takes patience. At the beginning of the year I felt that God was telling me something. I felt he was telling and nudging me to keep my faith and understand that there is a plan. As the year moved on it went to remembering who I was and who my identity is. Then, everything will be ok, I cannot do anything on my own, I am loved more than I could ever understand, I need to pray and listen, I need to have courage, and now I feel that to end off the year, God is telling me to have strength.  It is as though I am His warrior that He is preparing for a war.  Yet, as I look back at all of these lessons, I am seeing that strength was something that I needed to gain and focus on in order to successfully understand the other lessons.  Many things this year have brought me to my knees in prayer, and Christmas has not even come yet so the year cannot be finished.  My motto at one point was “in the end everything will be ok”. This means that despite the lowest of the moments, eventually things will be ok and I need to have strength to remind myself of this small seven word principle.  When I started allowing myself to give in and say “I cannot do this on my own”, I felt the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders. A lot of times I would keep things to myself and just assume that they would go away if I did not focus on them.  I am here to say that this ideology was not a good one. Something I had to learn through this was that true strength comes from admitting, sometimes in tears, that something is wrong and you need help to fix it or get through it.  Whether it was to God, or it was to a friend, in the end things were resolved and I was able to have a clear head when helping those around me. There are people out there who love you. There is a God who loves you!! I hope that who ever reads this understands that I am being honest when I say that sometimes things are hard and it sucks and it hurts. But, I am also saying that out of it you will get stronger. Sometimes in order to come out stronger you need to be broken down and submit everything.  Also, you are not alone.

1 Peter 5:9 says “Stand firm against Him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your family of believers all over the world is going through the same kind of suffering you are.”

This past weekend I told myself that my friends and family sometimes need to be the pillars to lean against, but the foundation that we are all standing on is our faith in and our love for Jesus Christ.  Strength can come from lifting weights or running a mile everyday. Strength can also come with the pain and the suffering. You can do it! You can stick with it! Just remember what goes down must come up! Remember you are loved, and remember that no matter what you are no alone!

Let me explain my RELATIONSHIP with the Father…

 

 

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As people today participate in activities to honor their father, I begin to think about my Father God in Heaven.  Lately, I have been working on finding the line between a relationship with my Father and a religion.  When I think about it, a conversation about my faith is much easily started with let me tell you about my Father, and not let me show you a list of things that I can and cannot do.  So, let me introduce you to my glorious Father!  I have known who He is for as long as I can remember.  But, I can honestly say that I did not truly begin knowing Him until about three years ago.  Knowing who someone is makes it distant, but knowing someone makes it personal and makes it a relationship worth holding onto.  In my relationship I talk to Him just like any other friend or family member.  I may do this in the form of a journal or through words while on my knees, but I like to believe that either way He can hear me.  I talk to Him about my day, what I liked and what I disliked.  I talk about my wishes and my dreams.  I even confess what I did wrong and ask for forgiveness, even though I know I have already been forgiven through the blood of His son. In this relationship, I write letters.  I enjoy letters both writing them and receiving them.  I write Him letters in a journal.  I may not receive actual hand written letters addressed to “Kyra Lukens” but sometimes when I am walking alone I notice things like single beautiful flowers and to me that is God’s way of writing me back.

I saw this flower all by itself just among the dying grass and I felt that God was saying “I am the one and ONLY God, the greatest of them all, when compared to others they fall dying and lifeless, and you my child are going to have to stand alone sometimes when no one else believes, but I promise to make you the most beautiful of them all”…it is tough to stand alone sometimes, but God will make it all worth it.

He comforts me when I am scared.  I have been through some things this past year and I would not have been able to do it without Him.  I can go and look at the stars and I feel like I am being hugged and I know some who feel that when they fall asleep talking to Him.  He knows when I need to smile and somehow He makes it so something steps into my path and makes me smile on a bad day.  Just like any relationship, there can sometimes be trust issues or a feeling of absence.  I need to trust that He has a plan for me that is far better than I could ever imagine.  It will not be easy but at the end of the day somehow I know that He has got this and I do not need to worry about it.  That is the other thing that is cool about my relationship.  I do not have to worry about anything.  I am going to be a senior in high school and sometimes the thought of the future starts to close in on me.  But I do not need to let that happen.  I can easily say “God take this, take it away from me because I do not want it anymore!” That is when the seemingly impossible happens.  I feel at peace, yes it is true.  I feel completely 100% at peace.  He is like a super hero, but a bigger and better super hero, more than I could ever hope for or imagine.  Now, some automatically think about the list of do’s and don’t’s when asked about what religion is.  But with my relationship I see them as things God does and does not like.  I mean we all have those things that make us sad or angry and God does too.  Here is the thing, I mess up, I have messed up and the sorry truth is that I will mess up in the future.  But this leads into my last point for today.  God sent His son Jesus to die on the cross, and because of that it does not matter how many times I screw up, He still loves me and has forgiven me.  Through this relationship I have begun to learn what unconditional love is.  I myself am trying unconditional love with not only Him but the many many people around me.  So all I have to say now  is Happy Fathers day to the many many parents out there who deserve it.  And, a BIG Happy Fathers Day to my DADDY God in Heaven, my most important relationship of them all.

 

Well…that sure made an impact…

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As we say goodbye to another year, reflections are made, goals and resolutions are set, and most try to think about what this coming year will bring.  For me, I think 2014 will bring something big, I feel God is saying get ready because something is coming.  I cannot say whether or not it is good but it will be big.  This past year brought many things for me including, but not limited to, tears, laughs, frowns, smiles, punches (only friendly ones of course), and some of the best hugs ever.  A friend told me once that things will eventually balance out.  If you are down for a while, eventually that same amount or even more good will take place.  That is what I am hoping for this new year.  I look back and see a lot of pain, hate, tears, frowns, and things that being a junior in high school, I would not have expected.  But yet what I also see are many encouraging text messages, a lot of laughs, and friends who were there through thick and thin and stayed through it all.  I have said it before but I will gladly say it again.  I have been blessed with an amazing group of friends who have been there, who trust me and we have a mutual knowing that we are there for each other. From Water World, to homecoming, to scary movies on Halloween, all the way to a surprise party to kick off break, this year definitely had it’s ups.   Yet, I cannot say that I would change this year if I had a chance.  If I were asked if I wanted to change the sad parts to happy, or the scary parts to joy, I would say no.  Some may wonder why, some may think it is cliche.  If I had not had this year, I would not be as strong as I feel I am now.  I am learning very quickly that “If God will bring you to it, He will bring you through it.” Well my friends, I am still sitting here writing or rather typing out my thoughts on the year, maybe encouraging others to look back at their year and realize how much they have grown, from where they used to be.  So, here’s to you 2013, for making this a year to remember and making me realize that I am strong, and that sometimes being strong means asking for help.  2013, you truly made an impact.

Bible Verse for 2013: Philippians 4:13 I can do all through Him who gives me strength.

Word for 2013: Impact